Friendship ... A Rare Jewel Indeed!
As an observer, you notice friendship can begin in any situation, appear in multifarious forms and survive in all social climates. It can mature slowly or arrive unannounced ~ poof!
The external qualities of friendship may vary, but at the core of the relationship lies one truth:
you are loved for being you - no judgment, no conditions - and you reflect this same acceptance back to the sender. This true and honest exchange of feelings and words occurs over time and through this process, a very rare jewel is created by the two of you: TRUST.
A friend is someone you can trust, bottom line. This attribute of friendship doesn't happen over night and once it's gone, it's rarely restored to its original state. That's why true friendship is so rare in our lives ~ we are all here on the planet going through spiritual "growing pains" whether we know it or not. We'll screw up and often lose real friends along the way. These "lost" friends are people we remember no matter how long ago we knew them. A smile emerges and heartspace opens whenever we recall them.
If you step back, you will notice that real friendship is timeless and lives the the same world as your dreams. You've had lots of dreams, but there have been a few vivid ones that are so permanently embedded in your consciousness, you never seem to lose them. Friendship, just vivid dreams, come alive again when you breathe life back into those feelings, conversations and the love you shared. Then, like daydreaming, your awareness pops you back into the "now" and today takes over. But, the sweetness of this friendship lingers on, continuing to warm your heartspace...and the wonderful thing is that no one needs to know why you are smiling.
All relationships are transitory in this life anyway; but do real friendships truly drop away with parting? I think not, for true friendship is a gift of Spirit ~ friends are fellow travelers on the Path. Life gives us each other as "karmic buddies" to spend time with along the way. You weather storms and woes and celebrate dreams and accomplishments. Age, sex and financial status are irrelevant. If a "need" arises for one of you ~ through illness, war or crises...then, you know you can count on your friend to be there for you...as friendship flows both ways.
To me, true friendship is based on open, honest communication. Honesty is founded in Truth and Truth transcends time and space. Friendship occurs when real communication occurs.
This only happens when the following ground rules are followed:
1. The person sharing is honest about feelings and thoughts because it is "safe" to do so.
2. The person listening suspends thinking and focuses completely on what is being shared.
3. Both parties acknowledge the right of the individual to have his/her own unique feelings, ideas, needs, wants and desires. These aspects of a person are never criticized, but may serve
as a format for open discussion and exchange of ideas during conversation.
4. Each person accepts the other "as is" and does not seek to control, manipulate, punish or entice the other person to change. There is no personal agenda. All forms of love, including friendship, wither and die under negative interaction.
If people, in all relationships, would follow these simple-sounding guidelines, then many problems in our world would disappear. Trust would replace fear; encouragement would replace criticism; friendship would replace "obeying authority"....a nurturing, loving environment would emerge and support the individual, the family and society...(now that is a visionary ideal for today and tomorrow and the rest of our lives....so Aquarian of me.)
But, following these guidelines is difficult since they require you to "stay awake" to truth and not fall asleep and let your ego rule your life. Unfortunately, most people are asleep most of their lives. But, if you are one of the rare ones, one who wants to be awake, you have to be willing to honestly "self-observe" and change any behavior you need to change instead of wanting/trying to change others.
You need to work on yourself, not others, in this lifetime and that requires constant vigilance. But, if you are willing to be honest with yourself and then be willing to act in new ways, you can find that "friendship" opens the doors to new probabilities in your "today and tomorrow" in every relationship you find yourself in.
And one more thought about friendship that you probably have noticed ~ it's not exclusively human ~ many creatures on the planet share this form of love. Our pets, our plants, etc. Sharing sports, sharing philosophies, sharing coffee, a beer and good food, are all activities that cultivate friendship and every person and creature on the planet, at one point during existence, needs friends. True friendship clears the air, opens hearts and minds and transcends social propriety... at least from my Aquarian perspective. Your definition of friendship may differ from mine, but it really doesn't matter....you are free to be you, in my book.
So take a moment and consider your friends right now...you will notice that ~
There is no hidden agenda, no underlying motive to the relationship.
True friendship cannot be bought or sold, but acquaintances can.
True friendship is non-transferable. It has nothing to do with bloodline.
Friendship improves all other forms of relationships... better parent, siblings, mate, coworker, boss, etc.
Only the two people involved in a true friendship can destroy it.
Every creature needs at least one.
I have experienced many wonderful friendships along Life's way. Some are still here and others are beyond the veil. Some live close by while others are far away. Some I knew then and some I know now and hopefully, there will be new ones in my future. But, all of that really doesn't matter. What does matter is that I know true friendship and I am so grateful to those I have shared it with while on the planet.
Connect with your true friends
this holiday season & spread the Joy of Love!
Adviser on Life and Expanding Consciousness Visionary Esoteric Teacher